[ We find Our Heroes in class. Surprise! We find them in class just as Hank is winding down a lecture on a book that he considers a great and important classic, and which you guys probably found to be terribly boring... well, maybe Bob liked it. I dunno. ] [ The good news is that Chemistry class is next. As a liscenced mad scientist, Hank always makes the science classes interesting. ] [ But for now, you have a few minutes more of this lecture to survive. Session Start! ] * Miya tries to pay attention like a good student. But she keeps getting distracted by the birds out the window and the light fixtures and the doodles she's making in her notebook and... * Bob stares unblinking at the front of the room. * Daegal is engrossed by the literary discussion. Well, not really. * Miya draws a windmill and tulips. * Eric fiddles with the pencil in his hand. He doesn't look like he's paying attention at all. * Daegal attempts to stifle a yawn. * Miya draws Big Ben next to that. It doesn't look much like Big Ben, but there's a clock face! [ Hank keeps going. Blah, blah, blah, prose, blah blah grammar, blah blah blah. And then he shuts the book. "Well, that's about enough of that. I can see it has you all enthralled." ] * Miya yelps when the book shuts and looks around the room, before blushing and settling back down. * Bob does not react. [ "Now," Hank says. "Who wants to blow some stuff up?" ] * Eric drops his pencil when Hank shuts the book. He looks at hank. Oh yeah. Abso-freakin'-lutely fascinatin'. *grin* * Miya raises her hand. Um. I nominate Daegal. To be blown up, I mean. I second the nomination. [ Hank chuckles. "Oh, we're not blowing people up. ...not if we do it right, anyway." ] ... well, Eric had his turn already, so it's only fair. * Bob blinks. * Eric scratches his shoulder. "Don't remind me." Eric had his turn at what? Bein' 'sploded. Getting blown up, I think. Maybe. He's Splodey the Sporkmaster! Looks like fun, in an "OHMYGOD IT BURNS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" sorta way. [ Hank just listens and grins. ] Oh. Do you want me to make you burn? Eh? Why are we blowing somebody up? * Miya looks out the window. If I can break yer nose, sure. *biggrin* * Eric holds his nose. "I'm rather attached to the idea of keeping it in one piece, thank you very much." [ Hank smirks. "We're not blowing anybody up. We're only blowing up stuff. And it's in the name of science and education, so it's okay." ] Oh, well let's blow stuff up then. Oh. * Miya blinks as that draws her back to the conversation. Ah, massive property damage. Isn't that supposed to be important for bein' a superhero? Yeah. I think another important part is how to get out of being sued for it. Eh, we'll worry 'bout that in Social Studies. Social studies, eh? Been a while since I had to take that. Uh. * Miya doodles a sailboat. [ Hank starts with a lecture about acids and bases as he gets out some glass measuring beakers and fills them with a clear liquid that he tells you not to touch. He continues teaching while he has you all stand about fifteen feet from the beakers and sets a collection of round, chalky things on a desk in front of you. ] * Miya looks up at the warning. [ "Right. Miya, why don't you come join us?" ] * Miya notices where everyone else is, blushes furiously and teleports over there before she could stop herself, landing on her butt. "Ow." [ Hank helps her up. "Y'okay?" ] * Miya nodnods, looking at the ground. She's still blushing. * Bob laughs a little. * Eric lets Miya be. He's more interested in blowing schtuff up. [ Hank give her an it's-okay look and then resumes his lecture. "So, in the interest of not only obtaining a demonstration of the effect in progress, but also of gaining invaluable consumer savvy, we're going to see which of--" he points to the white chalky things "--these leading name-brand antacid tablets works the fastest and best." ] * Eric snickers. Pay attention, Eric. Ya might need this. * Eric pays attention. No really, he does... kinda. Stomach problems? * Eric shrugs. "Never had them before." [ "Now. The stuff in the glasses over there is HCl, or hydrochloric acid. Now, this is the same stuff in your stomach, although in that case it's diluted a lot more, which is why ulcers aren't more common." ] * Miya idly wonders what an ulcer is as she listens. Really, she's listening this time. [ "This," he points to the glasses again, "is just a bit more concentrated. High-molar stuff. I don't think even Bob here could stick a finger in without loosing it, but that's not what we're going to study." He picks up one of the round chalky tablets - a white one, and holds it out. "This is a Tums. Who wants to try for the first free-throw?" ] * Miya shrugs, then raises her hand. * Bob gets a curious look on his face. ...I wonder if I could... Don't try it Bob. [ "Bob," says Hank, "Please don't try something like this unless someone's life is at stake." ] First thing ya gotta learn as a regenerator, Bob. Just because ya *can* heal don't mean you should push it. [ Hank hands the tablet to Miya! "Here you go, Miya." ] Never know when you're gonna accidentally find somethin' ya can't heal. ...it would be interesting, though. * Miya takes it and peers at the beakers. "Toss it in there, right?" [ Hank nods his blue furry head. "A-yup." ] * Miya nods, gauges the distance, and tosses. [ She shoots, she scores! The tablet hits the acid, and there's a noise somewhere between firecracker and cannonball-dive-into-swimming-pool, and a fizzy mixture of the tablet and acid almost seems to jump out of the beaker, landing on the large glass tray Hank thoughtfully covered the desk with. "Three points! Well done. Next?" ] ... Cool! * Eric smiles. "That's why you don't eat Tums." [ "This one is... *sniff* Ah, maalox. Who wants this one?" ] I'll take a shot. [ Hank hands the tablet to Eric! ] * Eric takes the tablet, looks at the beakers, and tosses the tablet. [ Eric's tablet bounces off the rim and into the beaker, making another 'splosion! Woo! ] Two points! Why two? Basketball Bob. Basketball. * Bob gives Eric a blank look. [ Hank grins. "Alright! Who wants a shot wiiiiith... cherry-flavored Mylanta?" ] * Miya scratches the side of her head - the one that isn't funny bruisy colors. * Eric sighs. "We're gonna need to teach you what sports are too, aren't we?" I suppose. I'll do it. *takes the Mylanta* * Daegal takes a step back and tries to arc the tablet into the acid. [ Daegal succeeds, getting nothing but 'cid! ...er, yeah. This one gets a nicer sound than the others, and the pink dye adds a nice touch. ] Okay, next we toss the Oreo Cookie Brigade in there! * Miya nods. That's a good idea. Very good idea. [ "...The what? That some new godawful pop band or something?" ] Close enough. Um, no. They're... um. Some kinda mutant group. Jumped us at the movies, talked about some mutant war, tried to get us to join somethin' called the Hellfire club. Buncha lamers. * Miya chimes in, "They're our age." Lame with a capital 'L.' And, um. They're supposed to be called the... * Miya thinks. Oreo's anonynomous? And then one of 'em showed up at the front door here and tried to sell us on the idea. Real piece of work, that one. [ Hank facepalms. "Aww, man. Not the Hellfire Club." ] I forget. Never mind. Hell Tigers or somethin'... Does this mean it's not a strip club? Now that I think about it, that does sound like the name of a strip club. Does that mean that girl that came to the front door was an exotic dancer? Must've been if it's a strip club. [ "Strip club? Nonono. It's a group of very rich, very socially elite people who are mutants, but nobody knows it yet and they like it that way. They're also a very powerful bunch of individuals." ] * Miya wrinkles her nose. "Oh. Snobby people." Ooookay. So why did they talk to us? So tellin' 'em where to shove their offer was a good thing, then. *grin* Oh. Why would they want us, then? [ "They throw parties, get into politics, and generally have things their way. And they all have lots of houses, too, although they meet at Shaw's place, usually." ] [ Hank shrugs. "Dunno. Maybe they're recruiting and thought you'd be good candidates." ] ... oh yeah. I'd fit in REAL well at some high-society party. We'd be good candidates? Hah! * Daegal snorts. "Ya couldn't get me into a tux with a crowbar." ...I don't know about that. Wanna find out? wanna find out? [ Hank chuckles. "Sure ya' would. You'd maybe land a job as a bouncer or something." ] ... try it and I demonstrate the testicular claw. * Eric winces. * Miya folds her arms. "Well, I wouldn't fit in," she decides. * Bob blinks. Oh, a coupla other people stopped by while you guys were out... Spider Man was here. Apparently, he grew 4 extra arms. Was lookin' for you, but said he'd go talk to someone named Reed. [ "You could if you wanted to. Hobnobbing isn't all bad as long as you know who the real jerks are and avoid them. And --four extra arms? Uhg." ] Yeah, and Thor came down asking for some... Was it powdered milk? He pop by often? Forgot to get his autograph. Yeah, powdered milk. * Miya makes a face at the mention of powdered milk. [ "Oh, he's an old pal. We run into each other every now and then. Reed was probably able to help him, tho. Reed Richards is Mr. Fantastic of the FF, and is about the smartest guy there is. On Earth, anyway." ] Even smarter than you? Ah, cool. * Daegal hrms. "Thor seemed like a nice enough guy. Winged helmet thingee looked kinda dumb, though." [ "Oh, heck yeah. I'm pretty good at what I do, but Richards is an outright genius. He's made gadgets I can't even guess at, and most of those aren't even a big deal to him. He's even got an android for a secretary." ] Wow. Huh. ... though why he couldn't just go to a bodega or somethin' is beyond me. Maybe he doesn't carry money. s'another problem with spandex... no pockets. * Eric snickers. "Ya gotta have pockets." [ "Heh. Anyway... did these 'Oreos' say anything else interesting?" ] Besides throw us against the wall? Not really. They said there's a, um, war. So they wanted us to pick sides or something. Yeah! They didn't even stay for me to kick their face in! * Miya blushes. "I mean." ... somethin' about 'wearing the colors', too. And that people who didn't choose sides are in for an ass whuppin'. [ Hank blinks at Miya. ] * Miya fidgets under Hank's gaze. Isn't that color stuff what happened in Germany during the Holocaust? Nah, I think it's more like team uniforms. I certinly hope so. * Daegal blinks. "Oh yeah. Chuckles brother stopped by." [ Hank then looks at Daegal. "Oh. Didn't know it'd been that long already. The club has a contest between the white and black sides every now and then to see who gets to be in charge. It's a mess, sometimes, but usually it's more political backstabbing than outright fighting." ] Red armor, built like a freakin' mack truck. He was big. He looked strong, too. Big, strong... and also looked kinda slow. * Daegal eyes Bob. "An elephant is big. That guy was goddamn enormous." That guy was smaller than an elephant. [ "Thaaat'd be the Juggernaut. And if he was here, I have no idea why you guys aren't paste right now." ] He just kinda... walked away after we told him his brother wasn't here. Said he was lookin' for Chucky X. Said to say he stopped by. [ "Unless he didn't think you were superpowered for some reason... really? Huh. I'll have to tell Charles." ] He seemed okay. Made dents in the sidewalk, though. Yeah. And did you know your security system could use some work? And you prolly know about Sabertooth last night... you guys should really spring for some frikin' locks or something. (Whoo! Who's up for disrupting class?) [ "Ha! Locks. Cute. He can cut through inch-thick iron, but a padlock's gonna stop him?" ] He cut me. * Miya rubs at her throat and looks out the window, uncomfortably. I didn't like that very much. My blood started leaking. We gave him a good pounding, though. [ "Er, yeah. That's what happens when you're cut. But Logan told me about the fight, and he seemed to think you did pretty good." ] * Daegal shrugs. "Just figured a superhero team would have a better security system. Where're the net guns? The trap doors leading to the pit of crocodiles? The crushing walls?" Those don't seem very friendly. Duh, they're supposed to keep unwanted guests out of the mansion. Or at least somethin' to keep people from cutting the main AND backup power. [ "Nonono. That's a super-*villain* security system. We just have hidden stun turrets, and stun anything doesn't do much against someone with the metabolism Sabretooth has." ] * Daegal raises an eyebrow. "Ah, that'll make me feel safe when I go to sleep at night. Not even a burglar alarm?" *grin* [ "Why? We have people here most of the time that can bench-press fifty tons or teleport or read minds or something else interesting." ] * Bob starts ticking off fingers. ...yeah, we had all those. * Daegal shrugs. "Just like to be woken up if there's someone trapsin' through the mansion plannin' to introduce me ta my liver." [ "Usually something will. Sabretooth has worked as a special operative for several governments, tho. He's pretty good at getting around security." ] Some kinda 'Danger, Daegal Redd! Danger Danger!' thingee. He's pretty good at getting around doors, too. And walls. And ceilings. You mean through? Around, through, same difference. [ "Yeah, those too. Well, this has been a busy week for you kids, then, hasn't it?" ] That's an understatement. Yup. Still haven't been forced to wear spandex, though, so it's all cool. What's spandex? * Bob thinks. It's something almost all superheros and supervillians seem to have an odd attraction to wear. Oh, you mean that stuff... Rogue... was wearing. Yeah. What's wrong with wearing that? ... not that spandex isn't perfectly alright in some situations, of course. [ Hank shrugs. "It's pretty functional when you're fighting for your life. Although it's not really spandex. It's some compound Reed came up with that conforms to the super-powers of whoever's wearing it." ] So the blood that comes out of Daegal's nose all the time wouldn't stain it? Dunno... I've always been more of a track pants and sneakers guy. Might have to invest in some red shirts, though. [ "Yup. And your outfit would end up almost as tough as your skin, Bob." ] Watch out with wearing red shirts. Means you're an extra. * Eric grins. That sounds useful. ... huh? Having clothes that don't get all torn up. Not being an extra, whatever that is. Don't matter. Guys from Red Hook don't wear tights. Except for the crossdressers. And the actors. And that one guy at the cigar shop... What about the superheroes? [ And they all lived happily ever after. Session End! ]