The Story of Ardweden By Ardweden Chapter 1 or I Wanna Rule the World On the little island of Quasnalka in the Sea of Salt Ardweden was born. She was the youngest of four children, and was born to the richest family on the isle. As a result, she was shamelessly spoiled. There was something unusual about her. She never talked! Her parents, George and Kara, would try time and time again to get her to make a sound. They would pour cold water on her head, they would pop paper bags in front of her face, they even gave ice cream to her siblings to make her cry. But she never made a sound. One day, when Ardweden was about five years old, she actually spoke! Her grandparents visited them for the first time in five years. In typical grandparent behavior, her grandma cooed, "Aw, you're so cute. What are you going to be when you grow up?" "I wanna rule the world," Ardweden replied while momentarily pulling her thumb out of her mouth. This made everyone on the island happy, because her family was the only one on Quasnalka. There was rejoicing for three days. They played nifty games and ate lots of chocolate, Ardweden's favorite food. After they finished celebrating and the grandparents were sent home, Ardweden's parents finally realized what Ardweden said. She wanted to rule the world?! This simply could not happen. Ardweden was born into a sensible family, and they all had sensible, steady jobs like turnip grower, post office worker, fisherman, and data base administrator. World conqueror simply did not fit into that category. Kara cried for weeks. The most insensible person in the family was Dorien, Ardweden's oldest brother, and he worked for the army in Bulvaria! Actually, Bulvaria didn't really need an army, they've been at peace for a thousand years, and no country would think of attacking it. But when Dorien enlisted, Kara went into a state of emotional shock, and wouldn't stop shaking for a month! Conquering the world was the most insensible job in Ineckey. But Ardweden's only five years old. When she grows older she will surely have a more sensible occupation in mind, Kara thought. Unfortunately, she was wrong. For years, almost all Ardweden would talk about were her plans for world domination and her pet snake, Edward Fillmore. Edward was a laughing adder. One bite from him, and the victim would find anything extremely funny. Also, Edward could do complicated arithmetic in his head. He was purple with green and red polka dots, and about the size of a banana. For her thirteenth birthday, Ardweden received a package from Dorien. Unable to contain herself (Dorien was her favorite brother), she screamed with joy, and ripped the colorful wrapping off the package. In it was a letter, a book, and fifty gold pesos. She read the letter before opening the book. Dear Ardweden, Happy thirteenth birthday! Bulvaria is great! I wish you were here. I heard from Grandpa and Grandma that you want to conquer the world. That's not very sensible, but if it makes you happy, go for it! I sent you some presents that might help you. Next time come to Bulvaria and I'll throw you a birthday party! Love, Dorien P.S. Say "hi" to Edward Fillmore for me. Ardweden then opened the book, entitled How to Conquer the World. It had everything! Statistics of all the major countries, how to hire an army, even step-by-step instructions. She immediately started reading the first chapter, entitled: Overthrowing Fifth World Countries. Her parents were watching Ardweden while she read her book. They decided that it was time to stop her obsession with world domination. She had to be married to a nice, sensible husband. George and Kara spent all month looking for a husband for Ardweden. Finally, they found one. They decided to wait until the next day to tell their daughter. The next morning, Kara approached Ardweden while she was planting a flag into the ground. "Ardweden, what are you doing?" Kara asked. "Putting my flag in the ground," Ardweden replied without looking up. "Why?" "Because I rule Quasnalka." "No you don't. Nobody rules Quasnalka. We're the only ones here." "So? I'm the Empress of Quasnalka, because you're not, and Daddy's not, and none of my brothers are. We don't pay taxes to Bulvaria or Usoa, so we're our own country. Every country needs a leader, and I'm it. So there." Kara sighed. I'd might as well give in to her. After all, what harm could there be in humoring her? she thought. "Oh, all right, honey," she said aloud, "You can be the Empress if it makes you happy. Can Daddy and I still give you chores?" "Yeah, as long as they don't interfere with my plans for world domination." "And what if they do?" "Edward Fillmore, my second in command, and I will prepare for civil war!" "Edward?! He's a snake! He's not smart enough to be second in command!" "He can do complicated arithmetic, and he's much more intelligent than then Russel the rutabaga farmer on the next island to the east," Ardweden said, defending Edward. "Russel is a fine boy, and you're going to marry him in a week," Kara replied. "Ha! He can't even spell his name!" Ardweden laughed. "And... wait a minute... what did you say?" "Congratulations, Ardweden, you're getting married!" "But to Russel?! Mommy, you can't just marry me off. How can I conquer the world if I'm stuck on some rutabaga farm?" "Oh, I'm sure you'll think of something." "But Mommy," Ardweden whined, "I'm only thirteen. I've barely begun to live my life!" "Now that's enough, young lady. You're cousin Juliet was married off when she was thirteen. Now why couldn't you be like her?" Her mother asked. "Because I'm not stupid? Besides, she was killed!" "That doesn't mean it'll happen to you. Don't worry. I'm sure Russel will be a wonderful husband. Tomorrow we'll go to Bulvaria and pick out a wedding dress." Ardweden stopped crying. "You mean I can have any dress I want?" she asked eagerly, "Even a purple one with green and red polka dots?" "Well we'll see about that. Let's go inside and make some lunch." That night, Ardweden was sneaking about the house gathering her belongings. "Imagine, me marrying Russel!" she whispered to Edward Fillmore. "How stupid can adults be, Edward?" Edward licked her face in response. Ardweden sat in her family's boat, checking her knapsack. She had her money pouch with her fifty gold pesos, her book, two day's food, and Edward Fillmore. She was ready to run away, but she had no destination in mind. So, she checked her book. "Chapter 7: League of Ruthless Dictators," she read to her snake, "The League of Ruthless Dictators, also known as L.O.R.D.S. or LORDS, is an organization every respectable world conqueror should join. This is where all the tyrants of the world meet and share plans. Their secret passage is somewhere in the city of Yanork, also known as The Rotten Apple." "Yanork! I know where that is!" Ardweden exclaimed, "It's somewhere in Usoa. C'mon, Edward, let's go!" She followed the East Star, which for some reason never set, for two days. Just when she ran out of food, she reached Salamander City, a port town of Usoa. Chapter 2 or Santa Clause While Ardweden walked to the gates of Salamander City, she read about Usoa in her book. It was the most corrupt country in Ineckey, so she would have to be careful. Apparently, no gate guard would let her into a city without a decent bribe. When Ardweden reached the guard, he looked at her importantly and said, "No one may pass through the gates of Salamander City without being eighteen years or older, a championship beach volleyball player, running around in circles screaming 'Turkey, turkey, turkey', knowing what a demidodecahedron is, turning a cartwheel, doing the Macarena, and having personal permission from President Humperdion of Usoa himself." Ardweden sighed. "How much do you want?" she asked. "Huh?" the guard asked, confused. "I am only thirteen. I never played volleyball, haven't the slightest idea what a demidoceca-whatever is, and I never even met your President. I guess I can do the Macarena, turn a cartwheel, and run around in circles screaming 'Turkey, turkey, turkey', but I don't see what the point would be." Ardweden explained slowly. Then she screamed, "I'M OFFERING YOU A BRIBE, DUMMY!" "You never met President Humperdion? Well, I haven't either," the guard responded. "Actually, 'president' is just a title, because he's really a tyrant or emperor or something like that." "Yes, that's very nice, and I don't know what a president is supposed to be, anyway," Ardweden said. "But what about the bribe?" "Well, a president is supposed to be the head of a republic, where everyone has a say in the government. We have something more like a 'benevolent dictatorship' where we complain and say what we want, but Humperdion does what he wants anyway. But this isn't so bad, as long as we follow the laws." "What are the laws?" Ardweden asked, interested. "The laws," the guard said, "are very important. There are two major ones which are: 'No murder' and 'No treason.' There are minor ones, but they depend on your chosen profession. For me-" he gestured at his uniform, "I may only accept a bribe under three hundred gold pesos. It's not to much trouble to follow them, so most people do the best they can." "Yes, the laws are very nice," Ardweden replied, "Now, about the bribe-" "Oh, you wanted to bribe me!" the guard said, finally seeing the light. "That's not how you do it, not how you do it at all." "Then how do you do it?" Ardweden asked impatiently. "First you have to look around suspiciously, and ask something like 'There's a better way we can do this, isn't there?'" "Okay, how's this?" Ardweden looked around suspiciously and whispered, "There is another way in, though, isn't there?" "Yes, yes, very good," the guard complimented. "Now I say 'Well... I suppose I could make an exception to the rule, just this once...' and you say, 'Will you if I give you ten gold pesos?'" "Will you if I give you ten gold pesos?" Ardweden asked. "Since this is your first time, okay," the guard said as he took the bribe. "Enjoy Salamander City." Ardweden walked through the gates and onto the main street. Before her was a sea of people. It looked like there were no spaces in between each person. The buildings were mostly in crusty condition, although the cafe at the end looked nice, so Ardweden walked toward it. She walked about ten feet, keeping herself squished between the crowd and the buildings on the right, when her pocket suddenly felt lighter. She looked in her money pouch and discovered all of the gold pesos missing! "AAAAAHH!!" Ardweden shrieked, "SOMEBODY TOOK ALL MY MONEY!" She began to cry. "No one's listening, you know," said a voice. Ardweden looked up. The crowd was milling about like it always was. "Who are you?" she asked, "Are you my subconscious?" "No, I'm the man inside the alley." "Oh." Ardweden peered into the alley, after tripping over a little boy. An old man was sitting there. He was bald, with a long, white beard and a large stomach. "Are you Santa Clause?" Ardweden asked, remembering a picture of him. "Am I wearing a red stocking cap?" the man asked. Ardweden shook her head. "Then I'm not Santa Clause. You really shouldn't be all that surprised, you know. Someone was bound to steal it sooner or later." "But isn't someone supposed to stop it?" "What do you mean? I wasn't going to." "No, I mean like police." "We have police. They're in the cafe eating doughnuts." "They shouldn't be doing that! They should be out catching criminals!" "That would be kind of silly, wouldn't it? Everyone in Usoa is a certified criminal, and besides, isn't it every good policeman's job to sit and eat doughnuts?" "No, they're supposed to-" "Do what?" "Oh, never mind," Ardweden replied, exasperated. "You're not from around here, are you?" the old man asked, sympathetically. "Most people are a little surprised when they come to Salamander City. After all, this is the most densely populated city on Ineckey, and crime is a little fast paced here. But you seem surprised about everything. Where are you from?" "Quasnalka." "Is that near Bulvaria, Bethyulvannia, or Scoria, or is it one of the 65 countries of Shalkandra?" "No, It's a little island in the Sea of Salt." "Really? Who's its ruler?" "Me." "Right. So why aren't you ruling?" "'Cause Mommy and Daddy want me to get married to Russel the rutabaga farmer, and I don't want to." "Ah, so you ran away, right?" "Uh huh." "Well, you're not going to get anywhere in Usoa without an education. You need to get a degree." "What do you mean?" "Most people in Usoa are thieves, spies, lawyers, politicians, and blank encyclopedia salesmen." The old man looked at her carefully. "You seem like an honest person, so you should learn the fine art of thievery." "How do I do that?" Ardweden asked. "It just so happens that I own a school called University of Thievery. It's the best school on thievery in Usoa, and we give classes on lockpicking, burglary, pickpocketing, and other essentials. In physical education, you learn how to climb walls, acrobatics, and walking on a rope. If you pay attention in classes and do your homework, you will become an excellent thief. Room and board is free." "Wow, that's really neat. Why are you being so nice to me?" "You're only about twelve or thirteen and I need some new students. The establishment is actually funded by President Humperdion himself, and he demands that all juveniles be properly educated. Most of the students' families pay for the education anyway. Besides, I like you." "So where is it?" "We'll call for a taxi, and it'll take us there." "Wow, that's really nice of you. Thanks, Old Man, I've never been in a taxi before!" Ardweden said thankfully. "You're very welcome, young lady." the old man replied. The old man whistled for a taxi. When it came, nearly everyone got out of the way and swarmed around it. A few people did get run over, though, but they weren't seriously injured. The taxi stopped in front of the alley. It was a bright yellow carriage, pulled by two extremely fast black horses. On the top was a large sign that said "Taxi." Ardweden examined the taxi while the old man and taxi driver talked. "Where 'ya goin'?" the taxi driver asked with a Yanorkian accent. "The University of Thievery, and step on it," the old man demanded. "That'll be a hundred gold pesos, Mac." "That's outrageous!" "Of course it is. This is Usoa, Mac, not Bulvaria." "How about fifty?" "The transportation of two persons is fifty gold pesos each, Mac." "But this girl's under eighteen." "She still sits on a seat." "Oh, all right, seventy-five." "It's a deal, Mac." The old man pulled Ardweden into the carriage and they sped down the main street, with the horses going as fast as they could. Occasionally they would meet other taxis at intersections, and the drivers would spend time screaming curses at each other. When Ardweden asked about this, the old man just said that it was a taxi driver's way of communicating with his friends. After about an hour of super fast taxi travel, they finally arrived at the school. It was a huge castle next to a swamp. After they got off the taxi, the old man took Ardweden to have a look around. "One rule that we do have," he said sternly to Ardweden, "is no pets on campus, especially snakes. Half of the teachers are allergic to them. You see, when they come in contact with one, they get itchy all over, then they jump up and down, constantly yelling 'Parrot, parrot, parrot', then they get green and red polka dots, then..." "All right, all right," Ardweden replied. "I can't allow Edward Fillmore in, right?" "Edward? Who's Edward?" "Him," Ardweden said as she gestured at Edward, who was asleep on her shoulder. "But I thought that was a purple, green, and red banana," the old man said. Then Edward looked up and blinked as if to say, 'I beg your pardon?' "Uh uh. He's a laughing adder, and he's gonna be my second in command when I rule the world." "Uh... sure," the old man replied quietly. Suddenly he started itching all over. After about five minutes, he began to hop up and down and scream 'Parrot, parrot, parrot' uncontrollably. "Uh oh," Ardweden said, "We'd better find you a temporary place to stay, Edward." They went to the swamp, where Ardweden put him on a pile of grass. "This is your natural habitat, where you'll be happy for a while. I'll come and get you in two years, when I have my diploma. And don't worry. I'll visit you during spring vacation." Edward Fillmore wagged his tail in response. He seemed to be distracted by the pretty striped red and yellow laughing adder who was trying to get his attention, and was definitely succeeding. Ardweden laughed and said good bye. She got back while the old man was breaking out into red and green polka dots. "It's okay," she said, "Edward's gone now." "Oh, good," the old man responded, "I feel better already." "Can I see the rest of the school now?" Ardweden asked eagerly. "Of course," the old man replied. Chapter 3 or Pillow Fight They entered the school. Ardweden gasped. It was huge. There were many hiding places, and hallways were conveniently lit so there would be shadows everywhere. Everywhere Ardweden looked there seemed to be somebody standing in the shadows staring at her. The old man noticed her discomfort and laughed. "Don't worry, they're just practicing stealth. They might steal some of your things for practice, but they give it all back, most of the time. Not doing so will earn them an immediate suspension." Ardweden smiled to herself, relieved. Now that she wasn't so worried, she examined the hall more closely. President Humperdion must pay the University a lot. The building looked very durable, more like a fort than a school. Suddenly, her stomach growled. She covered it, embarrassed. "When did you last eat?" the old man asked her. "Um... yesterday morning," Ardweden replied. "Fifty-three hours without food?!" the old man exclaimed. Ardweden nodded. "Well, you must be famished. Come on, you can get a bite to eat in the cafeteria." The old man led the way through the corridors until they reached a pair of glass doors. Ardweden opened the door cautiously. The cafeteria, was a large, brightly lit room. In one corner five students were good-naturedly having a food fight. There were scraps of food and spilled juice everywhere. "I have to go to work now, Ardweden," the old man said. "After you eat, follow the signs to the main office. There you can sign up for your first year classes. They'll also assign you to a room. Oh yes, you're not paying so you have to stay in the top five percent in your class." "Uh huh," Ardweden replied, not paying complete attention. "Well, I'd better be going now. Bye, Ardweden." "Bye, Old Man." After the man left, Ardweden made her way to the lunch line. She stood in it for about an hour until she reached the end. A middle-aged woman stood behind a counter. In her right hand was a scooper and her hair was in a hairnet. "Would you like Chef's Special or Chef's Surprise?" the woman asked. "Um... Chef's Special," Ardweden responded. It sounded better than Chef's Surprise anyway. The woman scooped some pale green stuff out from behind the counter. She put it on a plate with a plop and handed it and some silverware to Ardweden. Nervously, Ardweden sat at a table with her "food." She looked around. Why did everyone seem so much older than her? She wasn't sure she was cut out for this thievery stuff, especially when she'd have to stay in the top five percent. "Hello there." Ardweden didn't respond. "I said 'Hello there'." Ardweden turned and saw the other three girls sitting at the table. "Wow, talk about zoning out," the girl with short, light brown hair commented. "Oh, give her a break, Mikelle, can't you see that she's new here?" the girl with red hair reprimanded. "No, Pamelan, I can't," Mikelle replied. "I tried to talk to her five times, and she never answered." "Don't listen to them. What's your name?" the short girl with curly, dark brown hair asked. "Ardweden," Ardweden said, suddenly shy. "Hi, Ardweden, I'm Katelyn. I'm very pleased to meet you and eep!" Ardweden, worried, asked Katelyn if she was okay. Mikelle and Pamelan laughed. "Don't worry about Katelyn, she just has the eeps. She says that she'll be cured as soon as she can get out of this school," Mikelle reassured her. "Oh, that's good," Ardweden said, relieved, "You don't want to go here?" "Nope. As soon as we get out of this place, we'll go to Bulvaria and start our own band. It's going to be called the Three Goddesses." "Wow." "Hey, what a funky accent. You're not from around here, are you?" "No, I'm from Quasnalka. It's an island in the Sea of Salt." Katelyn seemed about to say something when a bell rang. "Bye guys! Nice meeting you, Ardweden," she said. Suddenly, only Ardweden was in the cafeteria. She got up and made her way to the main office. When she got there she saw a business-like secretary sitting behind a counter. The lady looked up from behind her papers. "Yes?" she asked in a voice that said 'hurry-up-and-tell-me-what- you-want'. "Um... I'd like to sign up for my first year classes." "What's your name?" "Ardweden." "Paying or non-paying?" "Non-paying, I guess." "Here," the lady handed Ardweden a schedule. "Classes start at seven in the morning. You'll be in room 22d. You are aware that you must stay in the top five percent of your class?" Ardweden nodded and left. When she reached the room, she opened the door. There was music strewn all over the place. In a corner was a trumpet. "Katelyn, is that you?" asked a voice from behind a bed. "No," Ardweden answered. "Hey, you're not- it's the new girl! Are you staying with us?" Pamelan asked, surprised. "I guess so. Why aren't you in class?" "This is my free hour. Here, you can have this bed." Pamelan pushed a pile of papers off a bed. "Thanks." Ardweden went into the bathroom, changed into her pajamas, and climbed into bed. "What are you doing?" Pamelan asked curiously. "Going to bed. I didn't sleep for two days," Ardweden replied, stifling a yawn. She promptly fell asleep. "Ardweden? Ardweden, wake up!" Ardweden rolled over and opened her eyes. Two people were standing over her! "AAAAAHH!" Ardweden screamed, hiding under the covers. "Get up, silly. You don't want to miss your first class, do you?" Katelyn asked. "Huh?" said a voice from under the covers. "Your class!" Mikelle said, pulling the covers off Ardweden and whacking her with a pillow. Ardweden whacked her with her own pillow. Mikelle threw hers at Ardweden and hit Pamelan instead. Pamelan swung hers at Mikelle, who ducked, and hit Katelyn. This resulted in a pillow fight, and fifteen minutes later four giggling girls collapsed on their beds. Katelyn checked the time. "Guys, it's 6:30. We'd better get ready for school." Fifteen minutes later, they were set. They walked together to the main building, where they split up. This being her first day, Ardweden went to the easiest class, called Pickpocketing 101. Going through the dim corridors, she opened what she hoped was the door to her class. There was three rows of long wooden tables in the room. In the back, there were several small items. In one corner stood a dummy with tiny bells tied to it. A few of the students were early and sat at their seats whispering to each other. A man with gray hair sat behind a desk in the front of the class. "Ah, you must be the new student, Ardweden. You can sit there." He gestured at one of the seats in the front row. Ardweden just nodded and plopped down. A boy behind her leaned over and whispered, "Is this your first class?" Ardweden nodded. "Boy are you unlucky. Mr. Skimanshi can't teach. He needs an extra hour every day!" Ardweden moaned. "And I have to stay in the top five percent," she complained, "I can't believe my luck." The other students finished arriving. Mr. Skimanshi put on his spectacles and looked over his pupils. "Class, I'd like you to welcome Ardweden. This is her first day here." "Welcome to the University, Ardweden," the students said unenthusiastically. "Now that that's over with, let's start today's lesson, shall we?" The days passed quickly and uneventfully for Ardweden. In every class, students would greet her the same way. She discovered that she didn't have to go to the extra-hour sessions as long as she understood the lessons, which were easy enough. They were just different techniques for taking something that isn't yours, after all. Katelyn was in her acrobatics class, because she flunked three times. Ardweden was a natural thief, after she managed to stifle her urge to scream and run away every time she activated a fake alarm. All of her teachers wanted her to pursue thievery as a career, but she wanted to conquer the world instead. They just shook their heads, sad to see talent wasted on a nearly unobtainable goal. Chapter 4 or A Fateful Meeting The night before Graduation Day, Ardweden had to take her final test. She had to sneak into a heavily guarded building and remove an object from the center room. If she succeeded, she could keep the item she earned. Of course, the building's owners didn't appreciate this and made the test more difficult every year. After dark, she stood outside the building, telling her knees to stop shaking. Pamelan, Mikelle, and Katelyn passed the test, she thought to herself, How hard can it be? That didn't convince her knees, though. You're going to die, they seemed to say. The guards are going to find you and get you with their cream pies. Ardweden told her knees to shut up, and slipped into the shadows. She walked around the building, examining it. No windows, no back doors. She checked the roof earlier, and there was no way in from there, unless you dropped an oliphaunt, the world's biggest animal, on it. The only way in was through the front door, which was guarded by two fearsome soldiers. They stood at either side of the heavy oak door, cream pies ready. They wore white face paint and had red noses. The one on the left side had purple hair and the one on the right's was green. They each had a bright yellow flower on their colored armor, which was probably a weapon as well. Ardweden sighed. She could see no way in, unless... "The British are coming! The British are coming!" she shrieked, running out of the shadows. "British? Where?" the one on the left asked. "We don't know yet. We need you to go to the watch tower and scan for them. We must warn the people! Light the lantern once if the invasion is by land, twice if by sea." "Who are the British?" the one on the right asked, confused. Ardweden looked at him as if to ask, 'where have you been all this time?' "They're a group of rebels in the Englenden territory of Usoa," she explained. "We overheard one of their secret meetings. It seems that they're going to invade Salamander City tonight!" "Come on, Bobo, we have to help them!" the one on the left said enthusiastically. "I don't know. We never heard of this rebellion, and I doubt this fourteen-year-old is telling the truth," Bobo said suspiciously, "she's probably a thief." "I'm fifteen," Ardweden stated. "Whatever. I still think you're lying." "Oh, come on, since when have anybody told us anything? The people have the right to know how they're going to be invaded. Besides," the one on the left added, "We'll be national heroes." "All right, Crumpet, we'll do it." Bobo looked at Ardweden. "Guard the building until we get back." Ardweden nodded. "Aye aye, sir." "I know I'm going to regret this," Bobo sighed as he ran after Crumpet into the night. Ardweden watched them leave. Then she turned and examined the door. Locked. She pulled out her lockpick and went to work. Five minutes later, she heard a satisfying click. She turned the knob and was about to open the door when she noticed rust on the hinges. Embarrassed that she'd make such a mistake, she oiled the hinges before opening the door. Once inside, she paused and looked carefully at the floor, checking for traps. Once she was sure that she found them all, she slipped through the hall. A trap that she didn't notice almost got her, sending deadly cream pies in her direction through slits in the wall. Fortunately, she flipped out of the way just in time. At the end of the hall, Ardweden checked the door for traps. There was one; an alarm that would probably alert other guards to her presence. There had to be another way in. Looking up, Ardweden noticed a window near the ceiling. Smiling, she climbed up the rough stone wall to the window, which she opened. After she dropped to the other side, Ardweden blinked, her eyes adjusting to the bright light. Then she gasped. No wonder this building was so carefully guarded. There was a fortune in this room! Silver was piled carelessly with precious stones in a pile, and there were gold pesos everywhere. In a corner of the room, were many almost identical keys. Keys always fascinated Ardweden; it was much easier to steal the proper key and use it than taking chances with a lockpick. She sifted through them, wanting a key much more than some dumb old gem. At the bottom of the pile was a key that was different from the others. It glowed with an eerie, icy pale blue light. She reached out and grabbed it. The key reacted, and flashed a blinding blue light. Everything went dark. Ardweden awoke in a garden of sorts. Looking down at her hand, she was relieved that the key was still there. Getting up, she looked around. It was literally out of this world. Purple flowers with red leaves were common, the sky was pale green, the grass gold, and the little furry animals were balls of fluff rolling around. "So, how do you like my sister's garden?" Ardweden spun around and was face-to-face with a man who seemed to shine. Ardweden resisted the urge to bow to him, or run away screaming, and instead asked, "Who are you?" "I am the god Leinis, and you are one of the Chosen Ones. Go forth, and protect the world from evil." "WHAT?! I'm a thief! What do I know about protecting the world? And what's evil about it, anyway? And why are you calling me a Chosen One? And what's this key for? And what am I doing here? And-" "See? I told you what would happen, Leinis," a voice said. Ardweden gaped as a young woman who shone with the same light as Leinis appeared next to him. Leinis frowned. "Butt out, Ariel." "Not likely. They're my responsibility too, you know." "Ha! Since when did you know about responsibility?" "Since the time when-" "SHUT UP!" Ardweden screeched. The arguing pair stopped, and stared at Ardweden, who stared back. "Can someone tell me what's going on?" "See? I told you so." Ariel stuck her tongue out at Leinis. "I don't get it. I didn't have to explain anything to Dannysmartful..." "That's because it's in his nature to understand, dummy! That's why he's been chosen for his key!" Ariel snapped. "I must apologize for my brother's behavior," she said sweetly to Ardweden. "He doesn't get out much." Leinis just glared at her. "Fine. You explain it." And he disappeared. "He's had a bad day," Ariel said apologetically. "He lost in dice again to Destiny and Fate." Ardweden just nodded. This was getting weirder and weirder... "Now, back to business," Ariel said, rubbing her hands. "You," she pointed at Ardweden, "Are one of the Chosen Ones. There are five in all, though we have only Felt you and Dannysmartful touching your keys, and the One of Nature is close. We think that the One of Black Lightning already touched his, but he was too immature at the time to handle a Summoning. As a result, we cannot contact him and inform him or your mission. "Leinis and I are two of the Lesser Gods, ruled by Cernos. Since we can't interfere with humans directly, due to Cernos' restrictions, we created The Magic Few to... um... do the meddling for us. You know, protect the world and things like that. "We created five keys, each with a different power or powers. Each of the TMF members will be chosen for their particular key. You were called by the Ice Key, with the power to freeze and create ice. You can pretty much freeze whatever you want, though I don't recommend you bringing the temperature in a person to 0 Kelvin, though it would be interesting. And no, don't even ask what 0 Kelvin is." "But why was I chosen for this... power?" Ardweden asked. "I only wanted to rule the world, and I'm a thief, besides. Shouldn't this key have chosen someone... I don't know... a little smarter, stronger... more honest?" "No," Leinis said, as he reappeared. Apparently, he was done sulking, and was prepared to explain things now. Ariel sighed in relief and sat down. This explaining stuff was hard work. "Each key is attracted by a certain personality and ability type, and it found an absolute perfect match in you. We haven't seen any perfect matches in hundreds and hundreds of years, until Dannysmartful. The Mind Key wants intellect and kindness, the Nature Key wants harmony and honesty, the Fire Key wants spirit and cunning, the Lightning Key wants strength and bravery, and your key wants stealth and trickery. Oh, don't get me wrong. There are plenty of people more stealthy and tricky than you, but you seem to have just the right amount of both." "Um... okay, whatever. So what do I do now?" Ardweden asked, confused. Apparently, the gods were overcompensating for their lack of explanation earlier. "And how do these key thingies work, anyway?" "Oh, they just do," Leinis replied as he took her key and placed a silver chord through the middle hole of the key. "Just do?" "Yes, they just do. You'll know how to use it automatically." He clasped the key around Ardweden's neck. "Um... okay." After all, who was she to argue with a god, anyway? "Oh, and as to what you 'do'," Ariel said, "You and the other members are to protect Ineckey." "Okay, sounds fair. You give us magical powers, and we have to use them for good, kind, sweet, noble, wonderful purposes. Is that right?" "Exactly! See, a little explaining goes a long way-AAAAHH!!" Ardweden's key glowed pale blue as Ariel ran around in circles, trying to get the ice cubes out of her dress. Finally, she disappeared and reappeared in a new outfit. "That was not funny," she said dangerously to Ardweden, who was trying very hard not to laugh. "Why did that key pick her?" she asked Leinis pleadingly. "Perfect match, as you can see, Ariel," he replied, grinning widely. He turned to Ardweden. "Right now, nothing major is happening to Ineckey. I'm afraid that will change, and soon, so I suggest we transport you to Bulvaria to meet the other member. The person with the darker color glow around their key is to lead." "Well," Ardweden said, after thinking it over, "Alright." At least her color was a pale blue. She doubted she'd be suckered into leading. "Good." Leinis snapped his fingers and there was a blinding flash of light, once again. Chapter 5 or Saying Goodbye Ardweden reawoke in the test building. How long was she out? Was it just a dream? She felt for the key around her neck. It was there, reassuring her and scaring her at the same time. She had to get out of here before she got caught. Climbing out the window as quickly as possible, she made her way through the hallway and out the door. She briefly considered making the entire building a literal icebox, but she had no real reason to, even if it would have been fun. Besides, the point of the test was so you took something and no one knew you were there. Ardweden silently slipped into her room and saw all of her friends sleeping soundly. She packed all her things, leaving a note for Katelyn, Pamelan, and Mikelle on her dresser, explaining that she had to leave and that she'll miss them all. Slinging her knapsack over her back, she walked out the door. After leaving the University campus, she went to the swamps nearby. Without too much searching, she found Edward Fillmore. "Edward, I know I promised to see you after I graduate, but it looks like that's not going to happen." The snake blinked and looked at her questioningly. "You see, these two gods gave me this key, and I have to use it to protect the world. The first thing I'm going to do is meet the other member, and probably protect Bulvaria from some unknown threat." If Edward Fillmore understood, he gave no indication of it. "Listen to me!" Ardweden shook the snake until it faced her again. "You can't come with. It's too dangerous, and I don't want you hurt." She began to cry, and hugged her snake tightly. "I'll miss you so much." Edward licked Ardweden's nose, and tightened his coils around her wrist. She finally managed to get a hold of herself, and set him on the ground gently. "Bye. I'll come back for you when this is all over, I promise! Then we can work on conquering the world." She slowly stood, and as Edward Fillmore watched, the fifteen-year-old girl grabbed her key and said, "I'm ready now." There was a flash of light and she disappeared. Edward gave the snake equivalent of a sigh and a shrug as he slithered back into the swamp.