[Thursday, September 2, 2004!] [It's still raining over here, because the GM is playing with space/time and trying to kill herself this way.] [It's about half an hour after school ended, and Veronica and Christy are studying Hamlet! Or gabbing about stupid stuff. Possibly both. Probably both.] [They're in the library, and... yeah, description over.] [Session Start.] * Veronica is possibly trying to read the book. At the moment, though, she's leaning back as far as the chair can practically go. Her book is in the air, which makes it just as likely that she's staring at the ceiling as actually reading the book. [Christy's stuff is spread out all over the place, taking up most of the table. She's leaning over and staring at her book, and it's obvious she's looking at it instead of the ceiling. "Okay, so do you think he'll make us look at Polonius' speech? 'Cause I'm not sure what 'literary devices'" - here she uses air quotes - "we can use there."] ["But it's pretty much the only thing he made a really big deal out of in class! Besides the ghost. I like ghosts."] * Veronica gets shunted out of dreamland and looks at Christy. "Lita-whatages?" [She lets out a huff. "Literary *devices*. Like, uh. Metaphors."] That's like saying someone's an idiot without really saying it right? * Veronica scratches her head and sighs, putting all four legs on the floor. "I'm really not getting this. And what's worse is old teacher Mendel's acting like I know it all too." ["I guess it could be saying someone's an idiot." Christy crosses her eyes, then shakes her head. "But more like saying one thing and having it stand in for another. I think."] (Does she dot her tee's?) So like... my cousin is a dog, right? ["Yeah! Wait, is he really?"] * Veronica grins. "Depends on which cousin. But I haven't seen them since we moved, so I couldn't really tell you. They might have changed." [Christy snickers. "Oh, yeah. People are turning into dogs *everywhere*. Werewolves!" She makes fangy motions with her fingers, then pauses and looks down at her hands. "Okay, that wasn't very werewolfy."] (Foreshadowing! Christy is a werewolf.) No. No it wasn't. You're not hairy enough, thank god. (Nuh uh. Veronica's cousin!) ["Hmph." And she looks back at her book.] * Veronica grins, still looking Christy over. "You know though, I heard someplace in Europe, they have really hairy women. Maybe it's a thing over there." [Christy keeps staring at the book. "Maybe I should move to Europe. Then I could grow a beard."] Or you could get a false beard and, uh... * Veronica blinks suddenly and looks at Christy. "Say, wasn't that a theme of Shakespeare's or something? Women putting on beards and pretending to be men? I think I heard about it in one class once." ["Be famous!" she says, looking up from her book. And then she hears that and makes a face. "Did they really?"] I don't know. They must have been desperate or something. I wonder what gives? Maybe guys in Shakespeare's time thought chicks with scruff were hot. ["Maybe they had penis envy or whatever it was with the dreams and the guy with the beard." She pauses. "It all comes together."] Oh my god! Shakespeare was gay! ["Oh my God!" Christy squeals. The librarian shoots a poisonous glance at the pair of you.] * Veronica looks sufficiently temporarily chastised and gets back to her book. [Christy looks less chastised, but she looks back at her book, too.] We're so dead, you realize. ["Only took a week."] ["Or two. Is it two weeks already?"] I don't know. Maybe I can fake it. Or get Krista to do my homework. Won't help me on the pop quizzes though... * Veronica sighs and puts down the book and leans back in the chair, looking at the ceiling, arms behind her head. "I'm just stupid. I guess I'll have to deal with it." ["Aw, you're not stupid! You just take a while. That's what we go to school for, to learn stuff."] * Veronica doesn't look down from the ceiling lights. "That's BS. You go to school so you can get out and find a job and be "productive" to society for the rest of your sorry existence." ["Okay, but you have to learn how to be 'productive' and stuff."] Maybe I can be a cop or something. Do cops need to know Shakespeare? ["Maybe if... oh! What if there's someone out there with Shakespeare-themed killings!"] What, like he called himself Macbeth or something? ["Yeah. So then the cops needed to follow him around when he left all those clues in Shakespeare-talk."] That so sounds like a wrestling handle. MacDEATH. Coming from Scotland to kick your ass! ["Is that Scottish? Maybe it's Irish."] * Veronica waves her hand dismissively. "I don't know. I always get those things confused. It's the one with the leprechauns, right?" ["That's Irish."] Hmm. Do you think it'd be different if the three witches were leprechauns? Would they try to steal Macbeth's lucky charms or something? ["Three witches- Oh, so *that's* where the bubble bubble thing came from!"] Yeah. That's about the only thing I do remember from it. Geez. * Veronica hmms and sets back down her legs at the table. "Let's try something. Teach is going to give us passages from the book, right?" ["Yeah."] [Christy opens her book to the right page again. The first one!] So why don't we take turns picking out something at random and see if we can get it? ["Okay. Want me to read first?"] Oh no you don't. It was my idea, so you get put on the hot seat first. That's my reward. * Veronica starts flipping through the book. "How much of a quote do you think he'll put? A sentence? Two?" ["I dunno. He said a 'passage'. So that's got to be like... a paragraph?"] * Veronica nods. "Okay." She ahems and clears her throat, flipping the pages. ["Okay. Quiz me!"] * Veronica gets her dramatic groove on, being an utter ham as she gestures and flails like the best of them. "Good now, sit down, and tell me, he that knows/Why this same strict and most observant watch/So nightly toils the subject of the land/And why such daily cast of brazen cannon,/And foreign mart for impleMENTS...of war." * Veronica drops her head at the final syllable, with dramatic flair. [Christy looks like she's thinking. "Okay, obviously the cannon is a real cannon, so *that's* not a metaphor."] ["Though it's not like they're pointing at a cannon..."] * Veronica scratches her head. "I just read it, and I'm not even sure what it means." Except the "Sit down and tell me" part. I think that's pretty obvious. ["Maybe they mean mart like market?"] * Veronica keeps scratching her head. "They were fighting in a supermarket?" I'd kill to see cannons fired across the cereal aisle. [Christy snickers. "Why do you think they call him Cap'n Crunch? He's a *pirate*."] Who do you think would win if Cap'n Crunch and Count Chocula got in a fight? ["Well, the Cap'n would win for a while. But if the Count ever got past the cannons of sugarball bombardment, he'd be able to turn the Cap'n into a vampire and make him do his bidding."] * Veronica just blinks at something and stares at Christy. "What did you say?" [Christy shrugs. "I said that the Cap'n would win, but eventually the Count would turn him into a vampire and make him do his bidding. Probably make more chocolatey goodness or something. You know, like in those vampire movies. But with more chocolate!"] * Veronica stares off into space. "Yeah...yeah." * Veronica turns to her book quickly. "We're getting off topic here. Are there any more devices in this thing?" ["You mean besides cannons?"] (You girls suck at studying. You look like one of *my* study sessions.) (Come on, you know it's awesome.) Yeah. Besides cannons. ["Okay. Uh, reread it?" She looks at her own book.] Good now, sit down, and tell me, he that knows/Why this same strict and most observant watch/So nightly toils the subject of the land/And why such daily cast of brazen cannon/And foreign mart for implements of war;/Why such impress of shipwrights, whose sore task/Does not divide the Sunday from the week/What might be toward, that this sweaty hast/Doth make the night joint- labourer with the day/Who is't ("ist? What's ist?") that can inform me? * Veronica reads it this time in more of a monotone, serious voice. [Christy rubs at her face. "Why couldn't he write in English? Okay, so..."] [She stares at her book.] Didn't Mister Mendel say it WAS English? What's an implement of war? Well, they had like knights in those days, right? So it'd be swords and horses and armor and stuff, right? ["Yeah." She chews her lip, then she points at the book. "Toils!"] What about it? ["It's like work!"] So nightly works the subject of the land? That still doesn't make any sense. ["Maybe the subject of the land is people. Like subjugated people."] So nightly works the people? Cast of brazen cannon. What's the cast of brazen cannon? ["A human cannonball. Okay, okay. Think."] Geez, if it takes us this long just to get through one paragraph... ["We're doomed." Christy says this as a simple, hard fact.] Yes. We might as well change our names and move to Canada. They still speak English in Canada, right? (Luke can help with that more than you know! o/~ ) ["I think so? It's that or French."] You mean like "Our revore" and that kinda stuff? [Christy nods. "Only I'm taking Spanish."] ["So instead, let's move to Mexico."] Mexico's too far. Besides, I hate Chihuahuas. ["Okay." Pause. "We're doomed."] Whose sore task does not divide the Sunday from the week. What does that mea-- Wait a minute. Does that mean, he doesn't take weekends? [She blinks. "Yeah. Yeah! Rica, you're brilliant!"] ["So it's working, and they're working so hard they work all week! ... That must suck."] Yeah, but we still have no idea who the hell they're talking ABOUT. ["Cannons."] So cannons worked so hard they work all week? That doesn't make any sense. ["No, but maybe they're making cannons. And... ships. So they can go to war, right?"] Wait. Yeah! Wait, there's a war going on? ["Well, that's what he's asking about! See, he's saying, 'Dude! There's ships and cannons in my backyard! What's up with that?'"] * Veronica scans further down the page. "Wait, are they fighting Norway or something? I so don't remember Mister Mendel mentioning that in class." [Christy starts flipping through the book, too. "Maybe we fell asleep."] So why doesn't old Billy Shakespeare just SAY "Dude, there's ships and cannons in my backyard! That ain't cool, yo?" Oh hell. I think we figured this stuff out. That mean it's my turn? ["Yup!" Christy starts flipping through the book for a passage to torture Veronica with!] [End When Ready. Which Is Now.]